We are all influenced by educational figures, our environment, and past dietary failures. But all our beliefs can be changed, otherwise we would all vote for the same political party or support the same football team!
If I failed every time I went on a diet, I would think that this is how it works for me and that I will fail this time too, right?
Beliefs produce useful behaviors if they are empowering—and useless behavior if we build prisons within ourselves.
Customers who come to me often tell me, “I am overweight, and I want to lose weight, but...”
“I have big bones.”
“I’m not steady.”
“I like eating.”
“I don’t eat anything, yet I still gain weight.”
“Thin people are sad.”
“Thin people are nervous.”
“I have a slow metabolism.”
“I am at the age where weight loss is difficult.”
“I don’t have time because I work.”
“I eat too much because I’m always at home.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
What are your beliefs, and how can you question them today? Identify your beliefs and examples that counter them that you’ve never noticed before!
I’ll give you some examples:
- If a client says she can’t lose weight because she’s menopausal, I ask her if she knows other ladies of her age who have remained or gotten in shape in that precise physical condition. I then ask her what exactly those people do to maintain the right weight.
- If a client tells me he’s fat because everyone in his family is fat, I ask him if he knows any friends who are skinny even though their parents are overweight.
- If a client tells me that lean people are nervous, I ask him if he knows a skinny friend who is calm and nice, despite being a healthy weight.
The funniest situation happened to me a few months ago. A client lost a lot of weight but at one point tried to self-sabotage and return to her old behaviors by saying, “I’m sixty years old. Why should I keep the right weight at this age?” I answered her with another question: “Of course, you’re right. I thought you wanted to be healthy when you reached the fourth age and be able to take your grandchildren to kindergarten, didn’t you?”
What do you want to believe?
If I think it is difficult, it certainly will be, and if I think it is possible, it will be. I’ll still be right in both cases.
When our inner dialogue perceives a difficulty, our subconscious looks for proof that it’s true. For example, if I have a meeting at work with the boss and I tell myself it will be difficult, my subconscious will produce thoughts about the boss scolding me and recording my mistakes, and the fact that the previous meeting was difficult, so the next one will be too.
We put a filter in our head that allows us to see only the reflection of what we have decided to see. But luckily the same mechanism can be used positively!
If you want to buy a new car and decide on a red one, have you ever noticed how many red cars are driving about from that day onward? Like when we decide to have a baby and see so many pregnant women… or even worse, when we can’t do something and suddenly, we only see the people who succeeded!
We want to choose useful beliefs. I don’t care whether you believe me or what you have always believed, you just need to try to believe what is useful for you. We often think certain beliefs or thoughts are true only because we have thought of them many times, and therefore we simply recognize them.
What I believe or what you believe may be false, but you will be free if your follow a path that works best for you.
Rossella Tocco is an iNLP Center Neuro-linguistic Programming Master, Life Coach, Trainer and iNLP Center Italy Director. She has trained hundreds of people to lose weight without dieting, starting on the inside. Rossella has been sharing this method in Italy since 2015 with super successful results. Hundreds of people have lost excess weight and freed themselves of the “non-constructive” behaviors that they once connected with food.