Could unresolved grief be stopping my happiness?

five stages of grief

Could I have unresolved grief?

I pondered this thought some time ago and even wrote about it at the iNLP Center. My life was full of good health. The job that I had was I was satisfying. A network of friends that I loved was surrounding me daily. I was happy with my life!

Then suddenly, I would go to work and find myself irritated. The irritation went from mild to severe. I then found myself angry and sad. I began thinking, “what in the world could be causing this to happen?” 

I spent day after day trying to find the solution. Then, as if by magic, I heard the answer loud and clear. The music overhead was on a playlist of about 20 songs that looped over and over during the eight hours I spent at work.

One of the songs I heard each day at work that brought back a memory I had during a bad break up a year or so before. Then, the song that played right after it was a song played at my cousin’s funeral. 

How I managed the unresolved grief

I realized a couple of things. I thought about how I never faced this unresolved grief and planned to resolve it. It then occurred to me that I had unintentionally created an attachment to the songs with a meaning that was not resourceful to me. 

I asked myself, “Could a song from my past honestly create these kinds of feelings?” The answer to this question is yes. We all experience life in our way. People attach meanings to their experiences intentionally and unintentionally. 

These attachments are called anchors. Once I recognized these anchors that I attached to the songs, I was able to make peace with the past, allowing the negative feelings of anger and sadness to go away. As a result, things significantly improved.

It is important to learn all you can about unresolved grief and how to properly manage it. Your irritation, anger, or sadness could be turned into happiness and fulfillment. All you must do is take the steps to learn how to and your world could be forever changed.